Dating after divorce is among the toughest steps you may ever take — aside from your divorce itself. Same goes for any painful breakup.
Don’t rush the process. Wait until you have some sense of closure.
When you do decide to step out onto the dating scene again, whatever unhealed wounds you have will reveal themselves, giving you a chance to mend the past even more.
That can be scary, of course. So how do you decide when to date again and what you should do when you want to start?
(Watch the video above!)
To sharing your life with The One,
P.S. Have a question about this video or any other question? Then come ask in our Facebook group. I’m in there daily and look forward to meeting you.
Hi, and welcome. It’s Milan with Tuning in to the One, the place and the space where you can find, attract, and live in true, lasting love, finding your ideal dream partner and soulmate. Today, dating after divorce. What do you do? Divorce or the end of a deeply powerful and lasting relationship is a difficult time. The partnership itself, or the relationship itself, actually has kinda like a life of its own, so there’s a sense of loss, there’s a sense of mourning. There’s actually a profound sense of something has died and disappeared out of your life and there’s a void there. Proper grieving and closure are the most important thing. Dating after divorce, or dating after an important relationship has ended or is ending and is in the process of winding down, you want to have a sense of closure before you go back out there and start the dating game, the dating, relating, and mating game. For a lot of people, there’s open wounds, there’s a rawness, there’s a lot of emotional issues, and turmoil, and bubbling, and activity which requires closure, or requires some sense of being put to rest, being at peace. So, asking yourself the question, do you have closure, yes or no? If you don’t have closure, one of the things that happens is we tend to be in so much pain that we kinda look around for something to fill the void. This can be done with food, with addictive or compulsive-obsessive behaviors, where we’re looking for something to dull the pain, or to not have the pain, or to medicate, in some way, this feeling of loss, to fill up the emptiness, the pain, the hurt, the sorrow, the angst, the fear, the hatred, the resentment. So watch out for rebound relationships. Rebound bonding is something that we can do when we don’t have closure, and we’re emotionally less than grounded and balanced, and we go out there and find something to help fill that void. Could be another person, can be another activity. Some things are gonna be healthy, some things are gonna be less than healthy. It’s up to you to use your own emotional guidance system to tell you, and you’ll know. So watch out for rebound relationships. They can be very tricky, and they definitely require special management. So be ready for a process, okay? When you get out there and you wanna start dating, relating, and mating, be ready for a process. Know what you want. So, do a Soulmate Attraction Blueprint so you can start taking off, or basically moving out of the gate of not being in dating and take off in a way that allows you to taxi, to get out there and to properly take off on the runway of your choice, so you can start ending up going to the destination that you really want to go with in that new relationship or that new dating process. It is a process, so know what you want. Do a Soulmate Attraction Blueprint. Look up our video blog library and get yourself a Soulmate Attraction Blueprint, or get a session with me if you’d like, and that will help you to start focusing there. Then you wanna accelerate your attraction with a Soulmate Manifesto, and that way you’re moving in the right direction. Most importantly, after you have a certain level of closure and you’re not in the rebound process, know that you are worthy and that you’re worth it. So, if somebody is going to be in your presence, regardless of what age, stage, or phase of life you’re in, you really wanna take the dating, mating, and relating process, the dance, the dance of romance, the subsequent compatibility tango or movements that you do back and forth, and especially when exploding that powerful chemistry, connection and effective communication are gonna be your number one and two sacred soulmate signal tools that you’re gonna use in the process of finding, attracting, and building true, lasting love with amazing candidates. You’ll attract those amazing candidates and know what to look for by doing a Soulmate Blueprint, as well as a Soulmate Manifesto, to accelerate and magnetize your attraction. Don’t settle for anything less than you really want. Remember, being alone may not be the most fun, but feeling alone when you’re with somebody else can be even more traumatic or tragic, so make sure you’re doing your Soulmate Blueprint work, the likes, dislikes, wants, don’t wants, the must-haves and the deal breakers. Do your Soulmate Manifesto so you can start magnetizing and accelerating your attraction towards the right type of candidates, and then you’ll be able to find dating, relating, and mating after divorce to be a fun and satisfying process. I know because I’ve been there. I’ve lived the struggle, I’ve gone through it. Remember, four weddings, three wives, two divorces, and one beautiful son. I’ve led a very rich and full relating, dating, and mating process myself, so I know how to relate to my clients. I know what men’s minds look like. I’m a master of interpreting the male mind, and I know how to help women read men’s signals, and especially when it comes down to after loss, or after tragedy, or after you feel like your heart’s been ripped out. It’s wonderful knowing there’s somebody who can help guide you, who can help you grow, and who can help you reach your goals of finding, attracting, and living in true, lasting love with an amazing soulmate, the one that you will fit seamlessly with, because I lived that dream myself. So, this is Milan asking you to like our video if you like what you’ve heard and seen, and subscribe to our channel, especially, and our private group. Look at the link on this screen or right below this screen. So, like this video, subscribe to our channel, and join us. Click the link and join us in our private Facebook group. Until the next time, this is Milan wishing you amazing dating success and relationship mastery. From Tuning in to the One, this is Milan signing off. Bye for now.
From working with over 250 private one-on-one coaching clients, I’m about to share five of the most common types of toxic men to steer clear of.
I’m separating the types here so you see each clearly. In reality, you’re going to meet men with two or more of these types blended in unique ways. Those ways can be anywhere from mildly annoying to change-your-locks dangerous.
Most men will have the milder forms, but at least you’ll be consciously aware of what’s going on, so you can make a choice about whether to stay or hit the road again.
With that in mind, let’s meet these five types of toxic men…
1. Mr. Peter Pan
Miss your childhood? Don’t get enough play in your hectic life?
The stronger you answered “Yes” to those questions, the more at risk you are of falling for Peter Pan.
Why? Because, like the famous fictional character, he’s a guy who never grows up. He’s still child-like in some ways you long for.
That’s alluring, until you get an earful of obnoxious locker-room talk, the loud slang-laced chatter and the general lack of grace most adults have grown into. Especially when he’s either unaware of how you feel about it or just doesn’t care.
If you’re looking for long-term partnership with a man (what we’re all about here at Tuning in to the One), you’re going to get tired of having Mr. Peter Pan for a husband.
He’ll treat you like a nurse (somebody to physically look after him the way his mom did) or a purse (someone who’ll provide for him financially) — or maybe both.
2. Mr. Shallow Pockets
Speaking of taking care of a man financially, Mr. Shallow Pockets is a man with deep money issues.
He may drop mentions of how expensive menu items at the restaurant seem. Or he’ll drone on about the debt he can’t pay down like that ab flab that won’t burn off.
“I know there’s a six-pack under there!”
He may even conveniently head for the bathroom when the bill arrives.
Of course, the signs may be more subtle. But, with the right tools, you’ll see how much he struggles with money.
A man with money issues usually won’t make a great partner, even if you don’t care about him being a good financial provider. His money woes are symptoms of deeper issues.
For example, he may not feel good enough in some way, so he’s not attracting the money his education would otherwise fetch him.
Financial guru, Dave Ramsey (who created Financial Peace University and has taught thousands of people about financial literacy over the last two+ decades), says the number one cause of divorce is money problems and money fights.
I don’t know if it’s really number one, but there’s no doubt money issues dig deep rifts that splinter relationships.
3. Mr. Look at Me
This guy wants to impress you.
This guy needs to impress you. BIG TIME.
To put that in perspective, most men want to impress you. All human beings are a little needy.
But when conversations are routinely 70% or more about him, you’re dealing with a guy with no room for you. He wants to point out how great he is every chance he gets.
That’s ironic, considering he needs you as the listener. He just won’t let you be the object of attention for long.
A guy like this doesn’t feel good enough on his own, so he needs external approval — especially from the woman he’s with.
This is often a Mommy issue but could be from other perceived shortcomings he’s unconsciously compensating for. (Not implying anything in particular here!)
A woman who stays with Mr. Look at Me has her own issues about needing to be needed. She feels important by giving him all the attention he asks for (or demands).
Beware! Mr. Look at Me can turn nastier the farther you go with him — especially if he’s a true narcissist, which a Psychiatric News article says is true for about 8% of men.
4. Mr. Hyper-Precision-Control
Here’s another guy who’s enticing at first.
He wants to take charge and plan the date. That’s a turn-on for most women.
But pretty soon you find out that he wants to take control of every aspect of the conversation, critique what you’re wearing, what you’re saying and more.
He escalates into telling you what to think and what to do about almost everything.
Even when he’s not with you, he may want to keep tabs on you all the time, telling you all the while how you’re doing everything wrong. In his world, right = his way.
You can imagine how annoying this will get — even dangerous, if you let Mr. Hyper-Precision-Control run rampant.
The Centre for Children and Families in the Justice System (in Canada) says the common trait abusive men share is their need for control.
NoBullying.com cites that 35% of U.S. women in marriages experience emotional abuse, who sadly often become the 29% who are physically abused.
All the guys above are wounded in some way. That’s what throws them out of balance from a man who’d make a gentle, loving partner who accepts you as you are.
Mr. Wounded, though, tells you about his wounds. Over and over. That’s how he siphons out your sympathy.
Here’s a big one…
He talks about his past failed relationships that left him broken-hearted.
While a joint study between Binghamton University and University College London with 5,706 participants from 96 countries concluded that men struggle more with breakups in the long-term than women, you’ve got to at least find a guy committed to healing.
All those “issues that require tissues” hurts are still bleeding from his body and oozing from his aura. You can just sense it.
Mr. Wounded is a guy who cries during romantic movies but only because they trigger his own pain. Worse, he resists doing the inner work required to finally heal because he’s afraid he’ll lose your nurturing attention.
So How Do You Find Out ASAP Who’s Toxic and Who’s Not?
Every guy above has taken on a specific identity because of how he sees the world.
Worse, you probably know from experience the toxic blends of men out there. A Mr. Peter Pan and Mr. Look at Me in one or a Mr. Wounded and a Mr. Shallow Pockets in one can leave you feeling sick of men for life.
So, to know who you’re dealing with upfront, you need to see how the man in front of you sees the world. FAST.
Then go put it to use with the men in your life today. Yes, even dads, sons, brothers and friends.
What's The BEST Way to Avoid Toxic Time-Wasting Men?
Answer: Find out how he thinks.
My FREE report, The Male Mind Master Key, shows you word-for-word how to ask Instant Vision Questions that show you how a man sees the world -- and you in it -- without tripping his interrogation alarms.
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