by Milan Botica | Oct 25, 2016 | Emails
A funny thing often happens when I ask women to describe their dream wedding…
Their eyebrows shoot skyward into their hairlines.
Their eyes light up.
Their hands flair outward to start describing their ornately elegant dress, as if they were wearing it.
Then, they flow into describing where the wedding would be, how the whole place would be decorated and who’d be there.
Women are incredible with detail, especially when there’s so much emotion underneath.
Yet there’s something curious missing from the dream invisibly playing out.
Can you guess what it is?
Hint: It happens to be the reason you’re having the wedding in the first place.
Well, not “it.”
More like “he.” I’m talking about the dream guy you’re marrying!
No, I’m not saying you can see his face clearly and you’ll meet a guy who looks exactly like that. We both know real life rarely works that way.
Yet how much have you clarified what’s most important about your Mr. Right?… Your must-haves and deal-breakers.
Yes, daydreaming about the stationary for your wedding invitations may seem like more fun at first.
But why?
Usually because there’s a LOT more fear about spec’ing out Mr. Right and being disappointed. You won’t have that fear about stationary.
After all, what happened in previous relationships when you weren’t clear about what you required?
Exactly.
That’s why I’m gifting you today with the whole first module from an upcoming paid product, walking you through what you need to know about your Mr. Right and how to clarify it.
This is exactly the process I took myself to meet my beautiful sweet wife, Nesit. After two failed marriages, I was determined to create and follow a simple (and yes, even fun) process that just plain worked.
Of course, it’s also the process my clients all go through — one of whom met her match in only four months after struggling to even find dates.
So, if you’re serious about living in lasting love, go take advantage here.
To sharing your life with The One,
Milan
by Milan Botica | Oct 22, 2016 | Emails
Have you seen any of the “Where’s Waldo?” books for kids?
On each page, there’s a drawing of some super-crowded scene. There’s so much going on and so many people doing it. Almost makes your eyes cross.
Amidst that chaos, you’ve got to find Waldo — a geeky-looking pale guy wearing a red-and-white beanie.
Doesn’t seem that hard, right?
You know what the guy looks like going in (he’s on the book cover).
So the whole chase is fun at frst. You’re on a mission to find a familiar face.
Yet you can strain your eyes for several minutes looking for him.
When fun finally turns into frustration, you may want to give up.
Just like in your quest to find Mr. Right (a.k.a. “The One”).
Except this time you don’t even know what he looks like.
And you’re searching among 3+ billion adult men across planet Earth.
Thankfully, you *do* have Law of Attraction on your side. But most of us still aren’t clear about what we want, and we’ve got all sorts of emotional blocks to allowing it in.
The clear evidence? Attracting man after man with the same issues.
After awhile, women start believing all men are like that, so they just start “training” the guy they’re with into compliance.
Which only makes your life (and his) worse.
What’s been your experience with this?
Reply and share. I read every message and promise to reply.
To sharing your life with The One,
Milan
by Milan Botica | Oct 20, 2016 | Emails
“OMG… He’s a total Hottie McHotterson.”
Got that line from a tv commercial. 🙂
A giggly bubbly teen (or maybe pre-teen) girl gushes over a boy named Ryan.
You know how girls at that age can be.
The hormones are starting to surge and they go “boy crazy.”
If they get together with the cute boy, maybe they they text other smoochie-face emoticons.
Or they steal kisses at recess or walking between classes.
Or they scoot behind the baseball backstop for a hands-everywhere romantic rendezvous.
That’s fine for teenagers exploring.
It’s even fine for adults exploring, whether you’re “up in da club” or back at your place for a night cap.
But if you tell me you want The One (the reason you’re on this list), then seeking out “the spark” first just plain WON’T work.
No way. No how. Nothin’ doin’.
The adult version is worse. Because once you do the Dance with No Pants (*ahem* you know what I’m talking about), it’s nearly impossible to think straight.
The oxytocin spike in your body literally takes WEEKS to wear off. It’s called the “bonding hormone” for a reason. It makes women feel clingy to the guy who, umm, spiked it.
So am I saying to forget the Chemistry?
No, not at all.
You *can* have the sizzling Chemistry. My wife and I sure do.
You just have to keep it simmering on the backburner for awhile — even if you’re scared of losing the guy.
Because The One won’t leave you for wanting to pace things. He’ll enjoy exploring all the ways you’re a good fit for him.
Once you’re sure you feel a natural, consistent energetic Connection, you make sure you share Compatibility on your must-haves and deal-breakers.
Common outlooks on life, like your spiritual views, timelines for marriage, whether to have kids and how many, whether you’d stay home with the kids until they’re a certain age, etc.
Your relationship is sunk without Connection and Compatibility, so what’s the point of igniting a spark into Chemistry too soon?
Of course, we all make mistakes. What challenges have you had with this in your dating?
Reply back to share. I read every message and promise to reply back.
To sharing your life with The One,
Milan
by Milan Botica | Oct 18, 2016 | Emails
How long to date before getting married?
When I recently asked that in the Facebook group, one gal said she’d wait at least 3 years before even getting engaged. Plus at least another 2 years before getting married.
Some others said their hearts would just know they’d found the right person, which could happen any time — even a couple of weeks in.
Even then, I strongly encourage couples to wait awhile.
ESPECIALLY if you’ve been hurt before.
Or if you have an especially trusting heart.
As the saying goes in the business world:
“Trust, but verify.”
After all, you could be dating an emotional Jekyll-and-Hyde guy, who doesn’t fully rear his sinister face until you’re far enough down the road.
One of our group members shared about marrying a guy like this. So sad.
When my first wife left me on her birthday in 1994, plunging me into shock that stripped 15 pounds from my frame in the first week, I resolved to be SUPER careful the next time.
It wasn’t like we jumped into marriage, either. We dated for a good couple of years. We were college sweethearts.
So when that next love came much sooner than I expected (she lived in the same apartment building!), I had my guard up.
As our relationship progressed and felt right in my heart, I still saw certain patterns in her and between us that needed addressing before getting married.
So I asked her to come to counseling with me.
She agreed, though reluctantly.
The counselor helped us weigh, in a neutral way, how wise marriage would be and when.
Yes, this sounds vastly less romantic than letting your heart carry you away into a secret love cove in the clouds.
But it works. Having a third party to help you see what you don’t see and decide on timing can be great.
Because, no matter how intuitive you are, you don’t know everything. You don’t know what you don’t know.
So if the guy you’re with refuses to go, that’s a red flag right there.
Exactly how long do I suggest waiting to get engaged?
At least 6 months.
With marriage coming within a year or two of that.
That way, you know your relationship is growing and glowing. Time flies when you’re having fun anyway, right? 😉
Of course, you may be thinking of a long-term happily-married couple you know who got married fast.
Yes, there are some examples out there like that. They only knew each other a few weeks or a couple of months before deciding to tie the knot.
But they’re the exception.
Because countless couples who do that don’t last.
The unknowns start to surface *after* they’ve walked down the aisle. Then they think, “This isn’t the person I married.”
Yes, it is. Unfortunately.
So, when you’re looking to make a lifelong commitment, play it safer than you might otherwise be tempted to.
Your heart will thank you for it later.
What’s been your experience?
Reply to share. I read every message and promise to reply back.
To sharing your life with The One,
Milan
by Milan Botica | Oct 15, 2016 | Emails
This one question sparks some serious ire.
Don’t let that happen to you. Or you’ll miss out on the deeper truth.
Before we get down to that, let’s look at common belief.
Tradition says “The man should pay.”
Been that way for ages. Chivalry and all that.
But that rule needs an upgrade, which is:
The yang energy pays.
Yang is traditionally considered masculine energy because it’s a putting-yourself-out-there take-charge way of being.
Everyone has yang energy, though. And women now spend more time than ever before in their yang modes.
Why?
Because of workplace culture. High-yang energy is usually required just to function.
And women are great at adapting.
Challenge is, yang energy usually repels yang energy, so women attract men who don’t ask them out.
The women end up doing the asking and wind up in countless confusing situations, including who should pay.
So if you do the asking (nothing wrong with that if you do it consciously), you offer to pay.
If the man does the asking, let him pay. (You can have a clear conversation about this beforehand to avoid misunderstandings.)
This whole yin-yang thing is a DEEP topic, which is bedrock for happy lifetime-long partnerships.
That’s why you’ll hear me talking more about it as we go. Just wanted to give you a tasty morsel for today. No payment required. 🙂
Your thoughts?
Reply to share. I read every message and promise to reply back.
To sharing your life with The One,
Milan
by Milan Botica | Oct 13, 2016 | Emails
The great reverend Billy Graham’s wife, Ruth, was once asked whether she’d ever thought of divorce.
She said, “Divorce? No.
Murder? Yes.”
Ha!
Jokes aside, Billy and Ruth were married more than 60 years before she passed in 2007.
Their love was obvious everywhere they went. Something for you and I both to aspire to.
Yet they clearly didn’t have the “perfect” marriage.
They had disagreements. Not everything was exactly how they wanted it to be.
Same for me.
I live my life with my dream soulmate wife, yet we still don’t see eye to eye on some things.
We’d also change others if we had a magic wand.
But being sooooo right for each other lets us overlook all that stuff.
Because it’s small in comparison.
So, when you’re making your wishlist for Mr. Right, realize that he may not be a millionaire underwear model who’s also a rocket scientist, speaks 7 languages and loves to cook 5-star meals on the side.
You may find all the Connection, Compatibility, Chemistry and Communication (the 4 Core Sacred Soulmate Signals) with someone a little less accomplished… or chiseled. 🙂
What’s been your experience being surprised (positively or negatively) by men you’ve met?
Reply back to share. I read and reply to every message.
To sharing your life with The One,
Milan
