One of women’s biggest complaints is that they can’t find “good men.”
“Quality men” is another common phrase for that.
Either way, it basically boils down to men who are authentic, honest and relationship-minded.
Right?
So then I ask these women where they’re meeting men.
And I hear answers like “bars,” “Tinder” and other free dating sites.
I’m not knocking any of those places. Because people have found love and happy marriages from every one of them.
But what you *usually* get is lots of time-wasting guys who play games and want hookups more than getting hitched.
If you go looking for a 5-star meal at McDonald’s, don’t be disappointed if you don’t find it.
So, if you don’t want to burn out on attracting the right man, put yourself in places where they’re likely to be…
With married friends who can introduce you to their single friends.
In yoga studios, where the men are more centered and seeking spiritual union. (If they’re serious about spiritual union, they’re likely more serious about relationship union, though not always.)
On marriage-minded sites like Eharmony, JDate or various others.
I know, I know… you don’t want to chase. I get it.
This is about inspired action (a key part of the Law of Attraction), not blind chasing.
If you’re inspired to be with a marriage-minded man, let that inspiration take you to where they are.
Your V.I.B.E. attracts in your tribe (likeminded people):
V = Values
I = Identities
B = Beliefs
E = Expectations
Module 2 of my How to Attract Your Soulmate in Your Spare Time course is all about this. It’s called…drumroll please…Dialing Up Your V.I.B.E.!
That’s 5 million Riyal, which is about $1.3 million (U.S. Dollars).
More than a million bucks for a man who fits her requirements.
As she put it:
”It does not matter whether the new husband is attracted to my money as the most important thing is that he must appreciate marriage life and marital duties…
“I am even ready to accept a Misyar marriage and pay him SRfive million at once.”
(A Misyar marriage lets couples have sex in a way permissible with their religions. Misyar brides don’t have all the rights normal ones do.)
She also said she wouldn’t reveal all her husband’s duties until later lol.
Considering that I consider Communication as the supreme glue to bond relationships, this sounds like a sure setup for marital misery.
Of course, I don’t know *exactly* what she’s looking for. She seems content with more of a transactional relationship.
But even transactions require clear agreements, right?
Imagine the cuddling or the dinners or the anniversaries with a man you paid to marry you — who doesn’t even know your expectations upfront.
*Shiver*
Feel me?
You don’t want to pay a million bucks for a guy or wait to reveal a list of “duties” to a man.
You want him to treat you like a million bucks (or more) for free.
As Robin Williams once said:
“I used to think the worst thing in life is to end up all alone. … The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone.”.
That’s exactly what happens when you’re not with right guy.
So how to attract the Mr. Right who’ll appreciate the rare gem that is you?
That’s the magic I help you conjure in my How to Attract Your Soulmate in Your Spare Time course.
Get it here to avoid that Saudi woman’s sad love fate.
We met at a workshop I was teaching in 2008. Still together. Still feels like a honeymoon.
How come you run across the same old moldy chestnuts over and over when you think about finding your dream guy?…
“Don’t worry. There are still good men out there.”
“There are plenty of fish in the sea.”
“You’ll find someone special. You just have to keep looking.”
While it may be comforting to have friends share these soothing words, they don’t do much more than help you sleep better for the night, right? (If they even do that.)
Because you know deep down what they’re really saying:
“Hope. Pray. And date. A lot. Then date some more.”
Why Most Women Are So Hesitant to Date These Days
For starters, you’re BUSY. You work for your own living and have a life outside of work.
So you don’t need a man to take care of you. You just want a man to be your loving life partner (whatever that looks like for you).
Yet what does dating involve these days?
Online dating is often top of mind.
Which starts with somehow writing a witty-yet-insightful profile to put on OkCupid, Match.com, or whichever other dating sites and apps you like.
And taking great photos to get noticed — in the right way. 🙂
Then you get all the messages from men, who sometimes make you wonder why you even bothered.
If you’re actively looking offline, what does going out usually entail?
Getting your nails done? Highlighting your hair? Find the perfect shoes for that new dress that flatters your figure?
It’s just so much WORK.
Small wonder that a Pew Research Study found that only 16% of singles were actively looking for dating partners. (That study is a decade old now, but this dynamic feels like it hasn’t died.)
Yet, don’t get me wrong… I’m not at all against dating. I’m simply for dating in your flow vs. by force.
Get This Wrong, and a Million Dates May Not Help You
Are boys and girls different?
I mean, more than physically?
You bet. Boys run around chasing each other and yelling.
Girls tend to huddle together and bond.
I’m only speaking generally, but are you with me so far?
Good.
Boys don’t keep chasing each other around yelling as adults (well, they do in pro sports), but they use that masculine energy in other similar ways.
And you know how most women still love to bond and build community, yes?
Those differences flow out every day in how men and women use language.
I asked this as a trivia question to my email list recently and nobody got it 100% right. See if you can…
“Women primarily use language to ________, whereas men primarily use language to ________.”
Take a moment to guess.
Here’s the answer:
“Women primarily use language to connect, whereas men primarily use language to solve problems.”
It’s like the Brits say about the Americans: “We’re divided by a common language.”
Except this is worse, because…
Men and Women Are Divided by EVERY Language 24 / 7 — and Hardly Anyone Even Realizes It!
Men are confounded by how much women say. And women get suspicious over how little men say.
For example, let’s say a woman mentions the rainy weather to another woman. She’s connecting, which also lets her bridge into other topics to connect more.
She can now mention why she wore her favorite snug sweater.
Or why she got the bigger cup of hot Arabica coffee at Starbucks this morning.
And how tough it’ll be to get to her evening yoga class after work.
Assuming no ego involved, each of those mentions is an opportunity to connect even more deeply.
Contrast that with a man mentioning the rain to another man.
“Yep, better bring an umbrella.”
Conversation over!
Yes, the conversation might continue, but my point is that men think and talk in problems and solutions.
That’s why we don’t feel the need to say much. We just say what we’re thinking as directly as we know how.
Men’s Signals Go Far Beyond Language Differences
Want men say in various situations is a big subject on its own, right?
Now, add in the body language and tonality a man projects.
Then you’ve got his behavioral patterns before, during and after the communication.
Misreading and misinterpreting men’s signals only gets worse when you start dating. It’s like jumping into the deep end of the pool without knowing how to swim (please forgive the mixed metaphor).
“Is he interested?”
“I was sure he was interested… but why did he lose interest?”
“Am I wasting time waiting for him to call?”
Have any of these thoughts ever run wild through your mind?
Of course, you might also be wondering:
Is there really any way to decode men anyway? Yes, and it’s easier than you think. But don’t take my word for it…
Real-Life Proof: My First Client Went from Zero Dates to Attracting Her Mr. Right in 4 Months
If you’re a regular here, you’ve probably heard me share about her success. If not, here’s her story again…
When Brittany (not her real name) came to me, she was desperate.
In her mid 30’s, she was successful in her career, owned her own home and was independent. Life was good in many ways.
Yet, like many women do, she dreamed of finding the right guy, getting married and having kids. She wanted her lonely house to become a home.
Aye, there was the rub.
Brittany had only been on a handful of dates in her life and had two fleeting relationships.
Nothing even close to “forever”-type soulmate connection or “the spark” reigniting in her heart when she awoke every morning.
As she strained through sharing her history with men, the all-too-common truths emerged:
1.) She didn’t know exactly what she wanted, let alone how to get it.
A heart bleeding from the daggers of grief, regret and resentment cutting into her with every recalled memory.
Fast forward four months after she started working with me…
She went out to eat and there was her Mr. Right!
A few months later, they tied the knot and she beamed about her bun in the oven.
But what if you’re not in quite the hurry Brittany was?
Take My New Self-Insight Quiz to Gauge How Much You’re Missing or Misreading Men’s Signals Like Brittany Was (No Dating Required)
Since Brittany wanted Mr. Right ASAP (and she wasn’t getting much interaction with men from her normal routine), we had her going out about once a week to practice.
Because the more you can read men’s signals, the less fear you feel and the stronger your Mr. Right attraction signal gets from trusting the process. That’s just the Law of Attraction in action.
Once you’re aware of your various fears you have with men, simply practice reading men’s signals (I show you how after the quiz) with any men in your life, including:
Your dad
Your brother(s)
Your coworkers
Your friends
Simpler than forcing yourself back into nail-biting dating, right?
As a spiritually-minded gal, you already know that laser-targeted awareness is the first step to change. Makes sense, yes?
You have free will, so your choice. Choose wisely.
If You're DONE With Mr. Wrongs Wasting ANY MORE OF YOUR TIME, This Quiz Is for YOU:
Take my FREE short "How Strong Is your Mr. Right Attraction Signal?" quiz to discover how much hidden fears are blocking the Law of Attraction from crossing your path with your Mr. Right...
[In response to many women asking, I’m doing a live training this Saturday called How to Know When to Trust Men So You Don’t Waste Any More Time or Get Hurt Again.
Even though you didn’t pre-agree on when to have a next date…
You don’t even question there *will* be a next date.
Until he doesn’t call for three days…
Then it’s four.
Soon it’s a week, and you wonder:
“Why did he disappear, just like so many others?”
“Did he find someone he likes better?”
“Should I text him?”
Your mind spins. Your heart aches. Your stomach is in knots.
For so many women, this recurring nightmare haunts them because they don’t understand men’s signals.
They also don’t understand the signals they’re putting out.
If you’re ready to tune in to The One, you have to tune into these signals.
That’s why I’m doing a LIVE online training this Saturday @ 1PM Pacific all about when to trust men, so you don’t waste any more time on the wrong men and don’t get hurt again. Sign up here:
