“OMG… He’s a total Hottie McHotterson.”

Got that line from a tv commercial. šŸ™‚

A giggly bubbly teen (or maybe pre-teen) girl gushes over a boy named Ryan.

You know how girls at that age can be.

The hormones are starting to surge and they go “boy crazy.”

If they get together with the cute boy, maybe they they text other smoochie-face emoticons.

Or they steal kisses at recess or walking between classes.

Or they scoot behind the baseball backstop for a hands-everywhere romantic rendezvous.

That’s fine for teenagers exploring.

It’s even fine for adults exploring, whether you’re “up in da club” or back at your place for a night cap.

But if you tell me you want The One (the reason you’re on this list), then seeking out “the spark” first just plain WON’T work.

No way. No how. Nothin’ doin’.

The adult version is worse. Because once you do the Dance with No Pants (*ahem* you know what I’m talking about), it’s nearly impossible to think straight.

The oxytocin spike in your body literally takes WEEKS to wear off. It’s called the “bonding hormone” for a reason. It makes women feel clingy to the guy who, umm, spiked it.

So am I saying to forget the Chemistry?

No, not at all.

You *can* have the sizzling Chemistry. My wife and I sure do.

You just have to keep it simmering on the backburner for awhile — even if you’re scared of losing the guy.

Because The One won’t leave you for wanting to pace things. He’ll enjoy exploring all the ways you’re a good fit for him.

Once you’re sure you feel a natural, consistent energetic Connection, you make sure you share Compatibility on your must-haves and deal-breakers.

Common outlooks on life, like your spiritual views, timelines for marriage, whether to have kids and how many, whether you’d stay home with the kids until they’re a certain age, etc.

Your relationship is sunk without Connection and Compatibility, so what’s the point of igniting a spark into Chemistry too soon?

Of course, we all make mistakes. What challenges have you had with this in your dating?

Reply back to share. I read every message and promise to reply back.

To sharing your life with The One,

Milan