Your #1 holiday priority
With all the gift shopping and other to-do’s on your list, remember the most important one:
Letting yourself be happy.
You deserve that. It’s your birthright.
You’ll never get everything on your list done. There’s always more. But you can be happy in a few minutes even if you’re miserable now.
And what better time to give yourself that gift than a holiday weekend in the last week of 2016?
So spend time with friends and family + some time within yourself. (The happier you are by yourself the faster you’ll magnetize Mr. Right to you!)
I’m happy you came into my life. It’s an honor to help you call in your dream guy.
Speaking of which, I’ll be back with another weekly content video for you tomorrow.
Just wanted to share some love today. 🙂
To sharing your life with The One,
Milan
5 Types of Toxic Time-Wasting Men to Avoid
- Have you ever been on a date with a guy who raised some red flags for you?
- Have you ever gone out with a guy again who raised red flags before?
- Did you end up hurt or regretting investing your precious energy with him?
It’s okay… That’s normal. You’ll meet all kinds of characters on the road to Mr. Right. (That’s why having a simple way to steer clear of the time-wasters is so critical).
From working with over 250 private one-on-one coaching clients, I’m about to share five of the most common types of toxic men to steer clear of.
I’m separating the types here so you see each clearly. In reality, you’re going to meet men with two or more of these types blended in unique ways. Those ways can be anywhere from mildly annoying to change-your-locks dangerous.
Most men will have the milder forms, but at least you’ll be consciously aware of what’s going on, so you can make a choice about whether to stay or hit the road again.
With that in mind, let’s meet these five types of toxic men…
1. Mr. Peter Pan
Miss your childhood? Don’t get enough play in your hectic life?
The stronger you answered “Yes” to those questions, the more at risk you are of falling for Peter Pan.
Why? Because, like the famous fictional character, he’s a guy who never grows up. He’s still child-like in some ways you long for.
That’s alluring, until you get an earful of obnoxious locker-room talk, the loud slang-laced chatter and the general lack of grace most adults have grown into. Especially when he’s either unaware of how you feel about it or just doesn’t care.
If you’re looking for long-term partnership with a man (what we’re all about here at Tuning in to the One), you’re going to get tired of having Mr. Peter Pan for a husband.
He’ll treat you like a nurse (somebody to physically look after him the way his mom did) or a purse (someone who’ll provide for him financially) — or maybe both.
2. Mr. Shallow Pockets
Speaking of taking care of a man financially, Mr. Shallow Pockets is a man with deep money issues.
He may drop mentions of how expensive menu items at the restaurant seem. Or he’ll drone on about the debt he can’t pay down like that ab flab that won’t burn off.
“I know there’s a six-pack under there!”
Right.
He may even conveniently head for the bathroom when the bill arrives.
Of course, the signs may be more subtle. But, with the right tools, you’ll see how much he struggles with money.
A man with money issues usually won’t make a great partner, even if you don’t care about him being a good financial provider. His money woes are symptoms of deeper issues.
For example, he may not feel good enough in some way, so he’s not attracting the money his education would otherwise fetch him.
Financial guru, Dave Ramsey (who created Financial Peace University and has taught thousands of people about financial literacy over the last two+ decades), says the number one cause of divorce is money problems and money fights.
I don’t know if it’s really number one, but there’s no doubt money issues dig deep rifts that splinter relationships.
3. Mr. Look at Me
This guy wants to impress you.
Scratch that.
This guy needs to impress you. BIG TIME.
To put that in perspective, most men want to impress you. All human beings are a little needy.
But when conversations are routinely 70% or more about him, you’re dealing with a guy with no room for you. He wants to point out how great he is every chance he gets.
That’s ironic, considering he needs you as the listener. He just won’t let you be the object of attention for long.
A guy like this doesn’t feel good enough on his own, so he needs external approval — especially from the woman he’s with.
This is often a Mommy issue but could be from other perceived shortcomings he’s unconsciously compensating for. (Not implying anything in particular here!)
A woman who stays with Mr. Look at Me has her own issues about needing to be needed. She feels important by giving him all the attention he asks for (or demands).
Beware! Mr. Look at Me can turn nastier the farther you go with him — especially if he’s a true narcissist, which a Psychiatric News article says is true for about 8% of men.
4. Mr. Hyper-Precision-Control
Here’s another guy who’s enticing at first.
He wants to take charge and plan the date. That’s a turn-on for most women.
But pretty soon you find out that he wants to take control of every aspect of the conversation, critique what you’re wearing, what you’re saying and more.
He escalates into telling you what to think and what to do about almost everything.
Even when he’s not with you, he may want to keep tabs on you all the time, telling you all the while how you’re doing everything wrong. In his world, right = his way.
You can imagine how annoying this will get — even dangerous, if you let Mr. Hyper-Precision-Control run rampant.
The Centre for Children and Families in the Justice System (in Canada) says the common trait abusive men share is their need for control.
NoBullying.com cites that 35% of U.S. women in marriages experience emotional abuse, who sadly often become the 29% who are physically abused.
Don’t let that become you. Find out early who you’re dealing with.
5. Mr. Wounded
All the guys above are wounded in some way. That’s what throws them out of balance from a man who’d make a gentle, loving partner who accepts you as you are.
Mr. Wounded, though, tells you about his wounds. Over and over. That’s how he siphons out your sympathy.
Here’s a big one…
He talks about his past failed relationships that left him broken-hearted.
While a joint study between Binghamton University and University College London with 5,706 participants from 96 countries concluded that men struggle more with breakups in the long-term than women, you’ve got to at least find a guy committed to healing.
All those “issues that require tissues” hurts are still bleeding from his body and oozing from his aura. You can just sense it.
Mr. Wounded is a guy who cries during romantic movies but only because they trigger his own pain. Worse, he resists doing the inner work required to finally heal because he’s afraid he’ll lose your nurturing attention.
So How Do You Find Out ASAP Who’s Toxic and Who’s Not?
Every guy above has taken on a specific identity because of how he sees the world.
Worse, you probably know from experience the toxic blends of men out there. A Mr. Peter Pan and Mr. Look at Me in one or a Mr. Wounded and a Mr. Shallow Pockets in one can leave you feeling sick of men for life.
So, to know who you’re dealing with upfront, you need to see how the man in front of you sees the world. FAST.
The best way to do that?
But not just any old questions in any way.
Get this wrong and you’ll trigger a man’s interrogation defenses. Once he raises the drawbridges, ye shall pass no more. Nor shall any more information pass.
You know that frustration, right?
Instead, you’re going to ask what I call Instant-Vision Questions.
A man’s answers to these types of questions give you nearly instant insight into how he sees the world — and you in it.
Will you have to ask follow-up questions?
Of course. No human being — man or woman — will tell you everything about everything in a single answer.
That’s again where Instant-Vision Questions come through. They’re naturally conversational, so a man can stay comfortable while you piece together his outlook on life.
Get the full scoop on Instant-Vision Questions and more in my free report, The Male Mind Master Key.
Then go put it to use with the men in your life today. Yes, even dads, sons, brothers and friends.
What's The BEST Way to Avoid Toxic Time-Wasting Men?
Answer: Find out how he thinks.
My FREE report, The Male Mind Master Key, shows you word-for-word how to ask Instant Vision Questions that show you how a man sees the world -- and you in it -- without tripping his interrogation alarms.
No luck with online dating?
I love a good story of women finding Mr. Right — especially with online dating, which many of us are so skeptical of.
One gal, Amy, found her hubby through a dating app. Her story sounds semi-normal at first glance, yet she got a CRUCIAL part right many women don’t…
Amy dated for years. That part is easy to relate to. She was depressed to come up empty after so long, with countless friends reminding along the way how there “still plenty of fish in the sea.”
Yeah… right. She just wanted one (THE One), yet he didn’t seem to exist.
So she did something many women aren’t willing to consciously do… She gave up.
She went to work every day, came home and cooked for herself. Sometimes she went out with friends to laugh and talk for a change.
Months went by. She got antsy. The mental portrait of husband and kids tugged at her night and day.
Amy installed some dating apps on her phone to explore. Not a big deal to swipe on some profiles in the evenings before bed, right?
Swiping eventually led to a few text chats, but with most conversations going nowhere.
Then she finally went on some dates, with almost all prospects wilting like fresh roses in the summer sun on the first date. She only went out with a few guys more than once.
Yet one of them turned out to be her Mr. Right. How great is that?
Persistence was key. No doubt. Yet so was having a dating profile that enticed men enough to click and engage with her.
What’s the #1 part of your profile any man will look at first and linger on?
You guessed it… Your photo.
Find out the best way to pick a great dating profile photo in this (it’s not what you think) in this new blog post. (Written by my partner / Resident Tech Geek, Sunni.)
Articles offering photo tips are useful, but none of them help you know what men actually think of YOUR photos. That’s why I’m sharing about a new service that gets you FREE, anonymous instant impressions on your dating profile photo(s) from plenty of real men in your target age range.
No, it’s NOT another ‘Hot or Not.’ Nothing like it. And it’s way better than asking your guy friends for feedback.
Come see why this free service is worth your time and how to use it today in our new blog post.
[Video] How to choose a dating coach
Have you ever considered hiring a dating coach?
Here’s how to pick the right one for you…
(Watch the video above!)
To sharing your life with The One,
Milan
P.S. Have a question about this video or any other question? Then come ask in our Facebook group. I’m in there daily and look forward to meeting you.
Video Transcript
Hi and welcome, this is Milan with Tuning Into the One. Welcome and welcome back. Today, what women should look for in a dating coach. Dating, relationships and mating, partnership, marriage, that’s right. So when you’re looking for a dating coach and specifically if you’re in California as I am in the Los Angles, the greater southern California area, sometimes you feel like the dating game can be very specific to your locality and there are a lot of specificities that are unique to your particular area or region, wherever you happen to be. In California as well as specifically to the southern California marketplace, you’re dealing with nuances, where people live, access to a local geography, whatever that may be. What women should look for in a dating coach specific to their area like in California or in southern California is going to translate to other areas. So maybe you’re in LA. I know some people personally who are actually looking from California, from the Los Angeles area, from SoCal to date people internationally and that’s great but whatever the criteria here is you’re looking for three things and they all start with E. So there’s three Es. Experience, expertise and excellence. Again, that’s experience, expertise and excellence. When it comes down to experience, you want somebody who’s been in the dating pool or knows how to go after it, someone who’s been in relationships or knows how to help you find, attract and live in true lasting love with your soulmate, your dream partner. At Tuning Into the One, that’s where we focus. Find, attract and live in true lasting love. So when it comes down to experience, I’ve helped over 250 private VIP clients and I’ve helped women from all around the world to be able to work on their existing relationships and for those women that were dating zeroes or having zero dates or just weren’t in the game and wanted to get back in or they’re just going through a tough time, they’ve just ended a bad marriage or they ended a good marriage and it just didn’t finish the way they thought it would or their person who they thought was their shining knight in armor all of a sudden decided they wanted out. All of those situations have one thing in common. When you’re looking for a dating coach who can help you with the relationships and build back up to finding, attracting and living in true lasting love with your ideal dream partner, your soulmate, you want to make sure they have the experience in terms of clientele to be able to help you then you wanna make sure they also have the expertise. What are their processes, what are their techniques? Where have they honed their craft and are they using their full potential, not just certain visual techniques, not just certain processes but all of it? We’re holistic people. When it comes down to expertise for me in particular and my clientele, I am a master at understanding the male mind and how to help women read men’s signals better, read men’s signals accurately and be able to send the right response signals and messages back. In order to do that, you have to be able to master four core sacred soulmate signal processes. Number one is connection. Connection is your gateway to everything especially effective communication and connection with effective communication will help you explore compatibility and then saving, exploding that chemistry. But in order to be able to explore the compatibility and find out just how strong and powerful that chemistry is, connection and effective communication are essential and those are the four building blocks. So look for excellence, expertise and most of all, experience. So start with experience then look for expertise and then the excellence is in the process. For me, I’ve lived this struggle. Four weddings, three wives, two divorces, one amazing son. It took me a while, three decades. It doesn’t have to take most people that long. There’s an amazing way that you can build a soulmate or a relationship blueprint. So the two criteria for me as far as excellence goes is build a soulmate blueprint and then accelerate your attraction. Magnetize yourself. Once you have that blueprint and you know who you want, you know what they look like, you know their characteristics, their traits, their likes, their dislikes, wants, don’t wants, must haves, deal breakers then you can get into accelerating that attraction making sure that you attract the right kind of candidates and start dating and relating with the right soulmate potential person and persons. So when it comes down to the level of excellence, having someone who’s lived that struggle and who’s been through it creates a level of empathy that can get deeper in touch with where you’re at and what’s going on and of course, living that dream with my sweetness, my amazing soulmate now for eight years, I have a lot of background both in failure on a personal level and success on a coaching level. So when it comes down to the experience, make sure it’s there. When it comes down to the expertise, make sure that the mastery level of what you’re looking for and what that coach is bringing to the equation are also a good match because you wanna also connect with the coach, make sure you’re building effective communication so that you can explore the compatibility and the chemistry with your ideal dream partner candidates. Your soulmate is out there waiting for you. It’s time and if the time is now for you then great. Use this video. Experience, expertise and excellence. Go out there and get a coach. When you do look at the coach beyond those three Es, you’re looking for three Gs. Someone who will be a guide. Do you blend well with that coach? Can they guide you? Do they have their own practice that they’re using like a spiritual practice? For me, my spiritual practice and my alignment with my intuition is essential to be able to apply all the techniques and the tools and take that experience and be able to help individual clients to move to get growth using the four Cs. So guidance, growth. Using the four core sacred soulmate signals of connection, communication, compatibility and chemistry and finally, someone who can make sure you are reaching and achieving your goals and keeping you accountable. My very first client that I had was able to find her soulmate in less than four months. I love to deliver more than I promise to clients so that we can really explode their expectations and make their goals happen. We start with little baby steps and we move on from there. So when you’re looking for a coach, what should you look for in a coach? Expertise, experience, excellence. First, experience then expertise and then look for the excellence. If they check mark on the experience, go to the expertise, check that out and then look for excellence in the way that you interact with them and what they bring to the table for you so they can be your guide, help you grow and help you reach your goals. So remember, subscribe to this channel if you like what you’re hearing and like this video and of course, as always, join us in our private group. The link is on this screen or below this video. So until the next time, this is Milan wishing you amazing dating success and relationship mastery. Bye for now.
How to Anonymously Get Dozens of Real Men’s Instant Impressions of Your Dating Profile Photos for FREE
- Do you tend to attract time-wasting Mr. Wrongs on dating sites and dating apps?
- Do you wonder what men secretly think of your dating profile photos?
- Do you want to know a FREE, anonymous, automated way to get instant impressions from dozens of real men in your target age range?
Then, read on, because that’s exactly what you’ll know how to do in the next few minutes…
Before we dive in though, let me address a big potential objection:
“Ugh, this sounds like another ‘Hot or Not’.”
It’s NOT.
While you do get percentage-based rankings in three categories, the percentages are percentiles of how your photo was rated in those categories versus all the others. That relative ranking offers perspective on men’s perceptions in general vs. just how men rate your photo on a 1-10 scale or similar.
What The World’s Biggest Psychology Experiments Revealed About How Men Truly See Women
Two neuroscientists, Ogi Oggas and Sai Gaddan used the Internet to study what half a billion men and women did in private.
They then used that research to distill down the hardwired sexual cues men and women have. Some of their findings were expected and some weren’t.
One of their unexpected findings was “When it comes to sexual arousal, men prefer overweight women to underweight women.” So much for the classic “I don’t look like the women on the magazines” self-put-down. You can find their full research and findings in their bestselling book, A Billion Wicked Thoughts.
That said, their extensive research still reaffirmed what street-smart women have known for ages:
Men’s brains respond to visual stimuli, especially in mating, much more than women’s brains do.
So, even when you’re looking for The One (our specialty here), your dating profile photos are making a crucial first impression.
How then can you know what first impression is?
A New Free Service Gets You Fast Feedback from Real Men
As I teased about in the intro, this relatively new service has plenty going for it to make it a no-brainer (little neuroscience joke there) for your dating profiles:
- You stay 100% anonymous. You never disclose your name or other identifying details, and search engines don’t index your photos.
- You’re always in control. Stop gathering feedback whenever you want. You control how many men you collect thoughts from.
- You get dating-specific feedback. You can also choose business or non-romantic social contexts, which have totally different questions for men to answer (as they should).
- You choose the age range of men you’re targeting for dating. Only men in that age range will see your photos.
- You can test UNLIMITED photos. Want to see if another photo gets better feedback? Test as many as you want.
- More objective than your guy friends. Most friends won’t want to hurt your feelings, and they won’t see you the same way as someone seeing your dating profile for the first time anyway.
Not bad, huh?
I’ve used it and found it pretty insightful. You might be surprised how other people see you compared to how you see yourself. (You’ll be okay. It’s normal to be a little scared. I bet you’ll be hooked once you give it a go.)
So What Exactly Is This New Service and How Do You Get Started?
Enter PhotoFeeler.com.
Bit of a creepy name, but it’s really pretty cool if you can get past the name.
There’s not a whole lot to it. Head over to the site to sign up for a free account.
Once you’re signed up and logged in, you’ll see this screen:
Either upload a photo or import one from one of your social profiles.
Then, choose “Dating” for the test category:
Also test out the Business and Social categories or those contexts (with different photos) when you get a chance.
Now, select your gender and age. Then select that you want men in your target age range to give you feedback.
Finally, select how statistically precise you want it to be and how you want to pay for the test.
Pay??
“I thought you said it’s free!”
Yep, I say that because the first option (rating other people’s photos) is free. Or you can just buy a bunch of credits (it’s pretty affordable).
Once your test is running, PhotoFeeler will email you when your results are in.
That’s it!
PhotoFeeler Isn’t Perfect
When you get the results for any photo test, you’ll see scores in three categories and also some text feedback.
While all useful, you often won’t know exactly why men scored your photo as they did. The text feedback can help there, but I’ve found most people choose from PhotoFeeler’s list of generic text blurbs instead of taking the time to detail their thoughts.
So be it. As long as you get enough men in your target age range looking at your photo, the results are usually still pretty insightful — especially once you test a second photo. The side-by-side results comparison can be downright enlightening.
Want to Know What Men Think About MUCH More Than Your Photos?
PhotoFeeler is fantastic for getting men’s thoughts about your dating profile photos.
But how do you find out what else men are thinking — about their careers, when they’ll be really ready for marriage and kids, and how they see the world at large?
If you want to turbo-sift out time-wasting Mr. Wrongs so you can invest your energy with potential Mr. Rights, then you need to know how to ask men the right questions in the right way at the right time. You know, so you don’t scare them off by sounding like an FBI investigator from the start.
That’s exactly why my partner, master coach Milan Botica, decided to share his step-by-step process in our Male Mind Master Key report.
In less than 10 minutes, you’ll know how to keep your conversations with men lighthearted and flowing while getting the essential info you want.
The report is FREE, so grab it here now:
This info helped Milan’s very first client to attract her Mr. Right in only four months. No guarantees on you replicating that result, BUT we’re confident you can at least stop wasting time on Mr. Wrongs and more time with potential Mr. Rights.
To sharing your life with The One,
Sunni
Resident Tech Geek
He fell in love with a silicone doll
Let’s be clear:
“He” is not me.
My sweet wife, Nesit, is scrumptiously real!
But a Japanese guy (pics at the end) went for a silicone doll after an unsatisfying marriage.
You might guess how the “relationship” started. The 3-letter word starts with “S”… and ends with “X.”
Who says there aren’t any quality men left? lol
Joking aside, let’s look at this in a heart-centered human way.
Like most of us, he just wanted to feel love and companionship. And this was the way that worked for him.
He could’ve probably found that with a real woman if he worked with a coach like me, but so be it.
The same could be said of most women…
They’re filling “the void” with other ways to feel love and companionship.
Not usually silicone dolls (no judgment here), yet if what they’re doing works, great.
How about you? You wouldn’t be on this list if you found a satisfying alternative to being with The One, would you?
Getting clear on exactly what you want in him and with him is the tricky part.
That’s where Module 1 of my How to Attract Your Soulmate in Your Spare Time course comes in mighty handy. I guide you to clarity step by step with videos and worksheets.
This is the same process that got my first client her Mr. Right in only 4 months.
Best yet, you can get it free here for now.
To sharing your life with The One,
Milan
P.S. Here’s the article with pics about the Japanese guy and his silicone girlfriend.
